Sunday, October 28, 2007


"But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."

-Kahlil Gibran

*Image from here.


Richard said...

I've thought about it and I don't get it. Maybe I need the Coles notes version.

This makes more sense to me:

Don’t walk behind me,
I may not lead.
Don’t walk in front of me,
I may not follow.
Just walk beside me
and be my friend.

b said...

richard...this quote really resonates for me but may not for you. so often, when we love, i think there is a compelling desire toward ownership or a compulsion for constant physical closeness. but when we "win" that love and we squeeze that love tightly against ourselves, we fail to really appreciate that love...and fail to appreciate the singularity of that person we love. but when we allow there to be "spaces" and we do not focus on cementing a bond, there is such a beautiful quality to love.

i realize i am not doing a great job explaining this but the message of this quote really speaks to me right now.

Richard said...

You did a great job. I get the point now. It is just that your first concept is alien to me: love has never been possessive for me. If anything, it is about letting it go and being free.

I think he expresses it better as: "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were."

It hurts not to have them come back, but it makes you happy to see them free.

b said...

richard...well i'm glad it wasn't an entirely vague explanation! love has never been possessive for me either but there is certainly an inclination to forge a cementing bond of some kind. for many, i think ownership really is paramount in a relationship. but the people i have loved most deeply, i have instinctively known would only be a part of my life for a short time.

i love that quote you include here. in fact, my mother had a little plaque with that quote on it in our entryway when i was young. it was always so beautifully abstract to me in my naivete. i can still recall the bird on that plaque and how perfect that bird was...symbolic of freedom and reminding me just how undesirable it is to squeeze a bird and cage it. the bird loses so much of its self in that cage but when it is free, it brings a much greater joy, even if it is fleeting.

i continue to draw this quote out repeatedly in life...feeling greater wisdom and appreciation each time it comes to mind. it is really touching that you happened to post this right now as i've spent much of my morning in a ruminative state...sweet and melancholy thoughts intersecting each other. thank you.

Richard said...

I find a good stiff bout of melancholy can prove inspirational. I think some of the best things I have written, have been written while under the strong influence of melancholy. I believe melancholy is not dead to hope and clings to it and it can be overcome with the right expression of sentiment, words, images, song, etc…. A few magic words, whispered in the right ear would set all right again.

My own beliefs could not allow me to pursue or woo a woman. She either gave herself freely to me or not because of who I am, but not because of my directed efforts towards her. I imagine everyone would see through such obvious action, but, apparently not.

You are the third I count in a contemplative / reflective state (I am one and there is another blogger). Hmmm ... I wonder if this is like of women who live together, synchronizing their periods together.

b said...

richard...yes, "a good stiff bout of melancholy" (grinning as i read this) can be truly inspirational. melancholy is after all, inspired sadness. melancholy is the best state of mind from which i write.

do you think that it is just your beliefs that prevented you from ever pursuing or wooing a woman, or do you think your nature has much to do with it? i have been thinking about that so much differently we each behave in relationships and what is behind such.

i am in a very contemplative place right now. it crept up on my yesterday, actually. not a bad state at all and it's been awhile for me, so here i am. yes, maybe we are synchronizing a contemplative/introspective state in the blogosphere. interesting.

Richard said...

It is nature.

I found (until you exorcised them from your blog) certain of your posts fascinating because I could not relate to them

For me, the whole wooing thing is so transparent and obvious I can't imagine anyone taking it seriously. The look, the walk, the talk, the actions. Why can't people just say: "Hi, I like you."? Instead of going indirectly.

Of course, maybe it helps (or hurts) that I am not the least bit tuned into multiple levels of communication that go on.

b said...

richard...yes, i do think it is mostly nature but certainly our experiences are a part of it all. yes, the wooing experience is interesting, isn't it? maybe that's why i so often hold out for chemistry...that instant and overwhelming "pull" with someone. when that exists, there is no wooing, as it proves unnecessary and impossible for me. but yes, especially at a certain age, that wooing is so transparent and irritating. it seems like a game that i so don't want to play!